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Daily Archives: August 21, 2016

The realities of living by necessity rather than by choice 1 5/5 (1)

It is good to remember the interesting fact that there is no pleasure in living by necessity when you do have the opportunity to choose how you wish live your life. In such a case, real-life daily survival is the primary essence than making choices and selections base on different opportunities. But one important factor in all of this is the essential element of having hope, and to another extent, courage.

When someone lives by necessity, his/her place of dwelling or home does not exist by choice, but because little or no alternatives are really available. Real “hand-to-mouth” poor living is the reality of the day. They do not have the pleasure of seeking a better place to rent or own by mortgage. They just have to take-it or leave-it as far as living in a slum concerned. There is no real choice, because real alternatives do not exist, but similar situations that are physically available elsewhere. Some may express the opinion that it is the fault of the person facing such as an unpleasant situation, but compassion may not be the best of human relations that crosses someone mind when they think and speak that way.

The fact and reality in many real-life people daily living is that, they do not have the family inherited financial security, salary from a good job, support from City or State financial agencies, for examples, and such alike, as means of real opportunities and alternatives to their present life situations. They often do not possess the mental and physical abilities necessary to do a related job to the satisfaction of their employers or contracted officials. They simple live day-to-day base on whatever means are available to them. The issues of school drop-out, drugs abuse, crime (such as prostitution) and others may seem to be the cause and possible alternatives to some, but this will often make a bad situation worse. So then comes hope. Hope that someone or government officials will see their plight and do something for them. Hope that a “good Samaritan” (such as The Sunday Breakfast Mission or Salvation Army Organization, and others) will open their eyes and see the need to help, when all else fails to do so. But hope often does not pay bills, provide proper shelter or feed the flesh with food. But if there is no hope then there’s often little or no need to continue living, and that borders on the unthinkable act of suicide or starvation. So hope is real-life importance especially to those who need to know that hope is real, not a fairy-tail mentality.

The courage to have hope is another matter. We all need a job to earn a living (money) or need to have the blessed rich financial resources of the family wealth passed-down through generations available to us. If this is not available and the other means are not in existence, then something has to be done. Courage to get-up, stand-up and fight is not the norm for someone who is chronically in the slums and often have no real choice, just the need to accept what’s available. But to use whatever political, legal, social, financial and other factors available to you base on the state you are in, takes courage. To strongly and mentally decide not to dip into crime, drugs, prostitution, gangs warfare, the abusing of others, and other such “evils” of modern society and real living, takes courage. Courage to may the best of what are now available and to make someone help and do something to get you out of the state of the living-dead.

Friends and families can disappear as quickly as the wind when the requirement of helping someone in the family who has ended-up in the slum or in need occurs. There are normal exceptions to this. But in reality, many will see the needs of their own life-situation and not that of the family or friends. There have been many cases and examples of family “abandoning” each other and children for the most simple of reasons. Then only to see them claim to be the father (in most cases) and mother or relatives of someone when they have risen to prosperity through, hope, courage and kindness of strangers. How and why they behave that way are the fascination of sociologists, psychologists and anthropologists studying human societies, behavior and culture. But the victim of their unkind deeds in time of need will not concern themselves with educated scientist theories, but with what was, could have been and had happened because of the “evil” of real people, family and friends. An essential principle of forgiveness must be encouraged here and practiced in real life in order not to make a situation worse or to re-occur.

There are endless examples of the above that are real and in abundance for all to know. Living by necessity than from real choice, is no pleasant matter when the good options are not readily there. That is why hope is often the only and best friend available to those who are really in need, and on a daily basis. Courage to avoid greater dangers and evils is a must if those who are in the slum are to survive and come-out without too much of a nasty or crime-oriented background, or at all. Sometimes all they really need to get back on their feet again is a real choice or opportunity to make their lives right. This should then be the focus of their hope.


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What we may not realize about our lives and Money Habits 1 5/5 (1)

There was an article that recently talked about why some people are always broke or have no money. But there are some important realities of life and money issues about why some of us may just be short of money or broke many times. Here are some personal views and essential information that will be helpful.

In the first case, many of us are diligent about where our money is spent and do know where it is going daily, weekly and monthly. The reality is that we do not have enough. And I am not just talking about “African Americans” like myself, but many other people as well. Money and the problems associated with having and using it is not restricted to blacks or race. So even if we know where we spend our money, in reality, many of us genuinely need more. We are not rich and may not qualify for the upper or middle class status level by American standards. Whatever we earn just have to be spent. Sometimes all of it on what we know must be done and the little that remains on tiny things we want to do that are also essential to us.

Sometimes, we cannot focus our attention on yearly needs that are hard to accomplish. For us to really plan for the year often requires a constant and reliable source of income. In these uncertain times, for many of us, that is hard to achieve and to do. We know that if we drive our cars, for example, we must have car insurance because that is the law. This is a yearly expense but many will pay their insurance company or agent quarterly. They prefer to economize and focus on their immediate required needs while they do drive, than the year-long need, in this case. Those with more income will just pay the insurance for the year, but that is not what everyone will do. So even though we know that we must plan and focus on yearly expenses or needs, to take it day-by-day or monthly seems to be the rational thing to do for many people.

Some people will really waste money every day on different things. But what might be waste to one person is pleasure or entertainment to another. I prefer, for example, to watch a sports game on cable than pay to attend the game at the arena or stadium. Some will spend cash on strong liquor for entertainment or pleasure, while to me that is just wasting money. When we buy things without needing them or taking the time to make sure we buy the correct one or fresh quality item, we are indeed, facilitating the wasting of things and money when we throw them away as soon as we arrive home or to our destination with the items. So this point of wasting money on some items or unnecessary services must be seriously considered.

When it comes to spending, not all of us have weaknesses. It is said, not by me, but from “everyday street talk,” that women will often waste money shopping for items they often never wear or use after they purchase them. Or, they may use that item only once. Whether that constitute a weakness may not be accurate to some people. The point though, is that some of us will waste money because of a weakness we have. For example, we will have a budget and plan, but often drift too far from that when we are enticed by items or services that we may incorrectly perceive as necessary. Sometimes, for example, we can wash our hair our selves or have a clean shave done at home using our own services. These may be necessary for some people, but can become excessive if not taken into serious monitoring and consideration.

Can we save too much? Yes, I believe we can if our saving is adversely affecting our needed expenses and causing us to go broke unnecessarily. We all need to save for our children and our future. But saving too much is unwise. Some financial experts or advisers will tell us to always save at least 10% of our cash or salaries. However, I do not believe in a universal approach to the saving issue. Each person, couple or family will have to decide, base on personal financial abilities and needs. Some may save 10% while other can save 33% each time, for example. But what we must be careful about is saving what we cannot afford to save and in turn cause ourselves to go broke or have little or no money too soon after being paid a salary, for example.

Many people love people, friends and families, in their own unique way. They love to be with others, except when they need their own private personal space and time. But when being with someone is causing us to lose too much money too often, it becomes a serious issue that needs professional assistance to resolve. A lady, for example, may live with her husband or “personal friend” who is just killing her purse and money with too many expenses. While we must never assume, this point must never be overlooked in a relationship. We know that some people may remain in a relationship because of the social need for companionship. But when that becomes unhealthy because of financial abuse of your wallet or purse, so to speak, we must get help or out of that relationship. Otherwise, we will risk ending up in the wrong unfortunate place, such as relying too much on friends or relative for a place to stay, or at a shelter broke and lonely. So whatever our personal social relationship is, we must avoid being exploited financially because will can and will go broke.

Only the rich may not owe money to someone. But sometimes even they owe big business partners in large business ventures that require long-term monitoring before real consistent flow of money or profit is realized. However, we are to be careful not to let our debt make us broke. We know that credit card payments, loan repayments and such alike are necessary. But when we spend too much of our money on those we will not be making realistic or rational decisions. Our debt repayment must be kept under full control so we will not be allowed to have too little or nothing for our selves, families and social friendships. Paying our debt is a needed responsibility and must be done on time. But to allow that to make us go broke, will only create undue stress and more problems for ourselves as we try to find money to accomplish other things. So here we must remember to keep things in proportion to need.

The above views and examples are just a few of the points concerning life, money and reality. They are base on rational thinking and should be considered by everyone in need of monitoring their personal finances more responsibly. The information will be useful, but is to be used in conjunction with professional advice from a person own financial adviser. We all need money, to save and spend, but we also need to be more responsible about how much we spend, when, where, how and on what.


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